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Post Your FTL Stories

Discussion in 'The Soup' started by Unknown, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. Unknown

    Unknown Well-Known Member

    If you got 'em, post 'em. The more hilarious or awful the better.

    Don't know what I'm talking about? Go here for the game on steam and here for the official site.
    Simply put, FTL is a rogue-like spaceship game in the vein of a bad star trek episode where everyone dies.

    My personal best so far:

    >Jump in next to a slaver ship
    >Force them to surrender
    >Realize I'm out of fuel
    >Awkward silence as I just sit there

    Also this:
    >Fighting a rebel ship first turn
    >Beam over my best hand to hand crew member onto said ship
    >Unaware that new missile launcher is totally badass
    >Critical hit destroys ship in one hit
    >Goodnight sweet prince
    >On the next jump get boarded by killer Mantises

    Unilogical did one up me on the no fuel story but I won't spoil it for you. Also I should add that Uni and Rituro have unfortunately been on my crew every single mission since I last talked with them. We die often, especially Rituro.
    • Like Like x 4
    • LAWL LAWL x 1
  2. Mycologist

    Mycologist Mushroom King Site Mod / Admin Sponsor

    >Sitting at home without FTL.
    >Watch a review.
    >Think about how I have too many games.
    >Conclude I'll get it on sale.
    >Sit some more.
    • LAWL LAWL x 5
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
  3. Ajent E

    Ajent E Legendary Member

    why is this here?
  4. Rituro

    Rituro Critwrencha Site Mod / Admin Sponsor

    Seems legit.

    So many stories to share, but many of them are spanned out over the entire length of a campaign. That said, I've had some doozies where I get the ship tricked out to an insane level, only to die to something annoyingly minor. Example:

    >Survive intense firefight where Slug (Rock?) ship carves open my ship using beam and fire beam.
    >Now, so tricked out with scrap and shields and weapons and --
    >Oh, um, half of ship is on fire.
    >Fire is spreading and depleting oxygen.
    >Fire + no life support = dead crew.
    >Kickass ship floats empty in space. Idea jumps back in time and Joss Whedon writes the "Bushwhacked" episode of Firefly.

    Oh, wait, one minor incident from recently does spring to mind:

    >Early "Scrap Recovery Arm" upgrade means tons of income.
    >Pump scrap regularly into shields, intending to survive late-game firefights.
    >Three fights later, wonder why I still only have one shield.
    >...oh. Engine upgrades.
    >Well, at least my dodge chance is frakkin' sweet.

    Speaking of "frakkin' ", I can't help myself from picturing a Cylon hybrid screaming "JUMP!" every time I bail on a tough combat. Or just after winning combat. Or, y'know, every time I press the damn button.
  5. Mister Sandman

    Mister Sandman Resident Insomniac Sponsor

    Oh wow that looks good but at least I don't feel tempted because it's not compatible for M-
    Screen shot 2012-09-18 at 12.06.30 AM.png
    *sigh* Damn it.
    • Like Like x 3
  6. Unknown

    Unknown Well-Known Member

    In the spirit of 4chan (rules 1 and 2) quotations. Just a way of easily identifying the story portion of a person's post.
    • Informative Informative x 1
  7. Rituro

    Rituro Critwrencha Site Mod / Admin Sponsor

    Warning! Spoilers! If you do not want the game's final sector ruined, do not click!

    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. TheUnlogicalOne

    TheUnlogicalOne Suitably Impressive Title Site Mod / Admin Sponsor

    Hmm, most depressing/amusing story...
    Final battle, had the boss almost totaly disabled, all the guns shut down, just sitting there, pounding away with emps.

    I was using firebombs + rockmen teleported in to smash things up (great combo by the way). I got all 4 of my rockmen in one room, was fighting the last of the enemy in their medbay, but I forgot I had the firebomb on autofire... killed all my rockmen in one blast.

    This wouldn't have been the end of the world, but a lone crew member repaired one of the weapons and I didn't notice. He got a single shot off before I blew up the gun again and killed him in the process. That one shot hit straight into my life support, knocking it out. Ok, not so bad... but most of my crew was dead on the enemy ship, and my shield room was on fire so I had vented the ship to put it out. Ok, this can be dealt with... got 2 guys to suicide into the life support room... wait... my medbay is damaged AND open to space... oops.

    Long story short, the boss was on fire, probably would have burned untill it died, but my last two crew suffocated, cowering on the bridge.
    • LAWL LAWL x 1
  9. Unknown

    Unknown Well-Known Member

    Here's a new one: (Warning: Here be Spoilers)
    • LAWL LAWL x 1
  10. Cow

    Cow Cow Is Kredit To Team! Sponsor Admin Emeritus

    I saw this on a certain popular website and it sums up my experience so far.

    • LAWL LAWL x 3
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  11. Unknown

    Unknown Well-Known Member

  12. Rituro

    Rituro Critwrencha Site Mod / Admin Sponsor

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. (Well, except maybe for "Violence & Variations" over Unfinished Business.)

    Oh, but wait, if we're going to include good BSG-to-FTL tracks, I have to nominate this. It fits so, so well -- there must be some kind of way out of here, said the joker to the thief...
  13. Unknown

    Unknown Well-Known Member

  14. Rituro

    Rituro Critwrencha Site Mod / Admin Sponsor

    I... that... you... wow. Conversation over. You lose. Good night.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
  15. Kazekon

    Kazekon Deku Scrub Admin Emeritus

    Not mine, but explained why my missile exploded when hit by an asteroid inches away from hitting it's target (And leading to my unfortunate demise).
    • LAWL LAWL x 1
  16. RightGuard

    RightGuard Freshmaker

    Here we go:

    >Make it to the SHOWDOWN on my best ship, the EAS CONCORD
    >Spend DOSH on Hull Breach Missiles and Teleport Bombs
    >Spend other DOSH and time handcrafting boarding party and Teleporters
    >Mothership Appears
    >Meatshot Shield Room and Medical Bay
    >Beam over Xenomorphs Mantis Men
    >Let the bodies hit the floor, everybody do the dinosaur
    >Ship FTL's away
    >Then the Drones came.

    • LAWL LAWL x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Impling

    Impling Hydrophobic Rain Lover Sponsor Admin Emeritus

    The orginal crew of "The Soup" lasted to the end of the second sector and died to a drone so i tried again.

    "The Soup 2" didn't start it mission out well.
    Impling Jr went down on the first mission and got eatin but some kind of monster. DOH!
    So then Pigeon stepped up as captain. And she did an amazing job. Got us all the way to the last sector. With the help of Uni as an amazing weapons master. They, along with 5 other crew members they found all the way took out one of the final sector ships but alas on the second the ship was to much for us. They blew up the helm first killing Pigeon in the process and from there it just kinda went down hill. Crew members dieing left and right running around the ship to repair and put out fires. All while Uni blasted away at the enemy. But in the end there was little hope. After everyone else was dead i though maybe if i could open all the doors and extinguish the fires, i would give uni the chance to shoot one last shot and do that last bit of damage to the enemy. But then it happened the shot that took away my hope. The door control room went dead. He went out fighting but it was a loosing battle. All i can imagine is Uni in the weapons room sitting at the consol and just throwing his hand up in resignation. "Fuck it." And that was the end of that.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  18. Unknown

    Unknown Well-Known Member

    Spiders? Fuck that noise.

    Uni is my chief shield engineer.

    Sounds like him. Actually, it sounds like him during the "planning sessions" for any game in DSGL.
    • LAWL LAWL x 1
  19. YamaLama

    YamaLama Corgi Herder Sponsor

    Make it to final boss again

    Full crew compliment

    Full shields, upgraded engines, blast doors.

    Breach Missile, Normal Missile, Hull Laser I, and Burst laser II.

    drop the shields with my missile, breach the weapons compartment.

    pounding O2 and cloak with my lasers.

    Keep breaching shield room and medic so the crew suffocate and can't regenerate.

    Hull smasher laser does it's job and makes short work of his hull.



    initiate second fight against "crippled" warship.

    Launches all his drones.

    Fires on all my systems.

    Rockman crewman valiantly tries to put fires out.

    Shields down from fire, can't repair.

    his attack 1 drones whittle down my hull.

    ...I'm not the greatest :'(

    throw keyboard across room and leave house.
    • LAWL LAWL x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  20. Mister Sandman

    Mister Sandman Resident Insomniac Sponsor

    Forget to leave door unlocked.
    • LAWL LAWL x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2